Take A Look At Reality

“If you want to be happy, you have to let go of the part of you that wants to create melodrama. This is the part that thinks there’s a reason not to be happy. You have to transcend the personal, and as you do, you will naturally awaken to the higher aspects of your being. In the end, enjoying life’s experiences is the only rational thing to do. You’re sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Go ahead, take a look at reality. You’re floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience. You’re going to die anyway. Things are going to happen anyway. Why shouldn’t you be happy? You gain nothing by being bothered by life’s events. It doesn’t change the world; you just suffer. There’s always going to be something that can bother you, if you let it.”
― Michael Singer

Recently, I lost my happy for a little bit. I got bothered by insecurities, overwhelm, judgement, and fear. These are the gremlins of the mind and they are self-destructive liars. If any of those feelings were real people with real voices we would never let them integrate themselves into our lives. We would call them cruel bullies and tell our kids not to play with them at school. However, because they are invisible we forgot they aren’t real. We let them thrash about inside our body and mind and climb into a vat of goop.

I lost myself in some goop. Goop is gross. It is sticky and yucky and awful.


We all get lost once in a while. Certain situations or triggers can set us off down a painful, anxious road. It doesn’t matter, we just have to take a step back in those moments and get in touch with reality. Wash off the goop and remember a few good things. We are here, we are alive, we are okay, it will all work out. We are smart, resourceful beings that will figure it out.

I want to be happy. I want you to be happy.

We have nothing to gain by being bothered by life’s events.

That is reality.

Nothing else matters.

The truth is that most of life will unfold in accordance with forces far outside your control, regardless of what your mind says about it.”
― Michael Singer

Authenticity or Safety?

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” -Brene Brown

Errrrr….that sentence terrifies me.

If you have experienced even one of the listed consequences of not living authentically (as predicted by the amazing researcher, Brene Brown) it probably scares you too. Also, if you have never experienced them (anxiety, depression, grief…etc) please call me and tell me all your secrets to life. Thank you.

“Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity” –Janet Louise Stepenson

Being authentic requires a constant checking in with the self. We need to ask ourselves: Why am I pursuing the things I am working towards? Is it for me or someone else? Do I really want this or that or I do I want it because everyone else has it? Am I doing this because it is easy? Am I trying to make it hard for myself? What do I really want? What matters most to me?

Authenticity requires reflection and reevaluation. It requires acceptance. It requires saying Yes! and No! It requires speaking your truth. It requires courage. It means not waiting. Being authentic can mean disappointing others. Many times it requires going against the crowd. It means listening to yourself and following your gut. It means not listening to advice, even good advice (like this). Being authentic means going after dreams, letting go of doubts, and exposure. Being authentic means freedom. If you dare to be authentic, it means you are claiming your freedom to be yourself.

Stop living someone else’s life. You have so much more to offer as yourself.

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” –May Sarton

This is us having fun and being silly...feels authentic to me... :)

This is us having fun and being silly…feels authentic to me… :)

Fraternizing with Fear

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”  -Thich Nhat Hanh

Fear fascinates me. I have seen it box myself and others in so we can’t see our way out. I have seen it kill amazing talent, ideas, hopes, and dreams. I have seen completely rational, intelligent people become completely crippled by worry and anxiety. I have felt its paralyzing grip as I tried unsuccessfully to hide from it under the covers.

I have also seen it overcome, it looks AWESOME.

Facing our fears head on is exhilarating, so please do that whenever you can.

Sometimes we can’t so easily get to the other side of fear. I’ve dealt with it in a variety of ways. Once, I decided I was going to conquer fear once and for all by jumping out of a plane…At the time I really thought this would help cure the fear out my life for good. After it was over I was still scared of not being “enough” and public speaking. DIDN’T WORK. So, I don’t particularly recommend the technique unless it is on your bucket list.

This is me signing the death waiver before going sky diving for the first time.

This is me signing the death waiver before going skydiving for the first time…that is my “I’m terrified laugh.”

Here are some things that have actually helped me around fear: Facing it, focusing on how good it will feel to do the thing I am scared of instead of the thing itself, remembering to stay present, laughing, reaching out to supportive people, taking a nap to get back to my rational self, acupuncture to rebalance the insane chemicals it makes the body produce, really good hugs, spending time in nature to gain some perspective, coaches, gratitude, meditation, anything self-nurturing, yoga, and love (giving it wherever I can and accepting it wherever and from whomever is willing to give it.)

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” -Jiddu Krishnamurti

Frick “FINE”

Settling – a gradual sinking to a lower level.

“How are you doing?” “Fine.” we answer. Well, I guess it is a better feeling than everything sucks right now, but at least with “everything sucks right now” we know we need to change or do something different.

When we are fine, there can be a slump, things are going okay so we stop pushing ourselves and pursuing other things. Eventually something happens to rattle us out of sleep walking. The rattler could be a new person, a tragedy, a new perspective, new experience, old journal entry, book, quote, blog, event, or sometimes a wake up call from a friend. The rattler is meant to catapult us out of monotony so we can remember that we are not someone that is okay with “fine” or an auto-pilot life, and hopefully, we do something about it.

An incredible life does not happen by accident, it happens on purpose.

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I want to fully pursue my ideas, I want to learn to dance the way my grandmother did, to teach more and more people how to stay well, to have amazing relationships, to give incredibly and whole heartedly, to be fully present, to explore the world and myself, to tap all the potential I can find within myself that could possibly contribute to a better world and a better me. In order to do any of those things I am going to have to keep growing, learning, and risking failure.  At some point I am going to get insanely uncomfortable. Sometimes I am going to have to make myself do crap I don’t want to do so that I can get closer to everything I would like to be and that can be hard. So sometimes I am just going to have to force myself to do those things anyway, because FINE is not fine with me.

What do you want? What are you waiting for? No one is coming and you are never going to feel like it, so go get it now.

“Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for the great.” Steven Pressfield

Katie Fisher Day: Sending Love

There is something very sentimental about the cookie. The memories I have attached to them fill me with tenderness and warmth. My grandmother stores them on the counter in a cracked Ernie jar and always has some at the ready, just in case, anytime of year. Those cookies have brought smiles to the entire family, the jar a treasure chest filled with the best kind of gold. We were artists when we frosted her sugar cookies together at Christmas time, and now the tradition continues on with my niece. I remember I was about to drive home from my aunt’s house and when I got in the car there were two bottles of water and several homemade fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Can you think of a better surprise before a long ride? The memory is forever etched in my brain because I was so touched by the thought and love in the gesture. Which is why, as someone who normally would tell you to stay the heck away from sugar, I am instead telling you to get baking, because there is nothing more powerful than spreading love. On March 12th, in honor of Katie Fisher Day, spread the love, bake and send some cookies! It will be awesome for you and the person that receives them.

About Katie Fisher Day: Katie Fisher day celebrates the life of a brilliant engineer, a beautiful dancer, and a wonderful daughter, sister, and friend. Among other wonderful things she did in her life, she baked cookies for her brother every single week for the four years he was away at college. She never missed an opportunity to make her loved ones feel more loved. In the summer of 2010, Katie was killed in a car accident. She was 24.

So, in an attempt to honor her memory and to show each other some measure of the love that Katie showed to us, we’ve decided to try to encourage people to be a little bit more wonderful to each other. March 12th was Katie’s birthday. We declare it “Katie Fisher Day”. Our goal is to get everyone in the world to follow Katie’s example, and send some cookies to someone they love. To participate please visit KatieFisherDay.org and get baking.

And whenever you can, be a little bit more wonderful to each other.

20141211_205543 Hot Cocoa Cookies for Katie Fisher Day.

Quotes to Inspire You Every Winter

Winter can be a challenging time, schedules get disrupted due to weather, the days are shorter, and we get less sun and Vitamin D, our happy vitamin. We need to stay happy, inspired, and motivated, no matter what the season. Here are some quotes that help me remember to be at my best even when its cold out, I can’t find my other glove, and my car can’t leave the driveway.

Snowy Days

“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in my an invincible summer.” -Albert Camus

“Winter is a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments, embark upon a sentimental journey, and every idle hour.” -John Boswell

“People don’t notice whether it is winter or summer when they’re happy.” -Anton Chekov

“The days are getting colder, have a warm heart.”

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.” -Anne Bradstreet

One kind word can warm three winter months” -Japanese Proverb

O Winter! ruler of the inverted year…I crown thee king of intimate delights, fireside enjoyments, home-born happiness, and all the comforts that the lowly roof of undisturbed retirement, and the hours of long uninterrupted evening, know.” William Cowper

and my favorite

Lets book a vacation somewhere warm.” -Me

Grow Your Life: Ways to Grow Your Relationships, Business, and You

“If a relationship is not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, how many friends you have, how many people you love- you’re not going to experience real fulfillment. And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something of value to give.” Tony Robbins

Grow Your Relationships: Do something new together, share a secret, forgive, learn from the other person, focus on how you can give, let go of expectations, do something loving every chance you get, say thank you

Grow Your Business: Offer something new, have a certain percentage of profits go to charity, get better at what you do, accept that you can’t do everything, hire help, learn more about your business, write an article, try something new, start an online store, start a blog, take yourself seriously, get organized, commit to growth, set intentions, practice consistency, make and take action steps, be open to new opportunities, grow yourself.20150104_125116

Grow Yourself: Meditate, do yoga, exercise, practice awareness, learn things, do a detox, hire a coach, journal, reflect, laugh, take a class, do the things you’ve been meaning to do, value your health, value others, take risks, be honest with yourself and others, face fears, go after your dreams, read books, be open-minded, spend time in nature

6 Ways to Honor Yourself this Winter

“I still believe in summer days.
The seasons always change
and life will find a way.”

Honor yourself this winter:

  1. Stay Warm. Wear warm clothing both outside and inside your home. Organic cotton and wool are the best materials because they allow your skin to breathe and sweat (one of the ways we detoxify). Keep your socks on in the house, or wool slippers, or both. Energy leaves us through our extremities. Socks and slippers make a huge difference keeping us warm.
  2. Take warm epsom salt baths, or even long warm showers if a bath is not available and then slather your skin with organic coconut, jojoba, or grape seed oil. 
  3. Drink lots of hot herbal teas. Nettle, ginger, and rooibos chai are my favorites this time of year
  4.  Winter is a time for reflection. Reflect on what you want to accomplish this year and outline your plan.
  5. Make your liquid meal a warm soup instead of a cold smoothie or juice, especially at night.
  6.  If you have a fireplace, use it. Gas or wood—there is something very nurturing about relaxing around the fire beyond just the temperature it generates.

Give An Experience Gift This Year!

We all have so much STUFF! We will probably always want more stuff, but research shows that experiences make us much happier than things do. So this year, try giving someone an experience instead of a sweater or watch. We all get tired of our things, but a wonderful memory will never get old. I have listed some ideas so you can give the best gifts this year with none of the wrapping! Double bonus as this also means you will contribute less to landfills!

Give a gift that will be truly cherished!

Getaway Experience:

Give a road-trip – Include a gas card or car rental, a couple of snacks, and a map.

Weekend Get-Away – Especially nice for parents, get a gift certificate to a hotel for a couple and offer to babysit their kids for the weekend.

Help them Fly away: You can buy a friend points on their favorite airline that they can use towards a flight.

Relaxation Experience: 99.5% of us rarely take the time to relax, so give an excuse to take some time to unplug and de-stress. Give a gift certificate for a manicure, pedicure, massage, ancient baths, korean spa, sauna, acupuncture, facial, or meditation or yoga class.

Entertainment Experience: We all like to be entertained. Tickets to a show, theater, comedy club, concert, or movie are usually safe bets.

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry Experience: Give a certificate for a restaurant, wine or beer tasting, or tour of a distillery.

Membership Experience: A gift that gives year round, the recipient will think of you gratefully every time they go. Memberships are available for museums, botanical garden, amusement parks, zoos, theaters, movie houses, and more. Chose based on your recipients interests.

Outdoorsy Experience: For those who love adventure and being outside consider lift passes to a ski slope, a park pass for a local national or state park, a bike or snowmobile tour, white-water rafting or rock-climbing experience, dog sledding, hot air balloon ride, or a sailing trip.

Kids Experience: Personally, I always worry if the toy or book I get for a child is something they already own. Which is why giving them an experience is a great option! A week at summer camp, a craft day, tickets to an amusement park, movie passes, or an ice skating, martial arts, or horseback riding lesson will be sure to put a smile on a young face.

Learning Experience: I am sure that most of us are familiar with the “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Who wouldn’t want to learn or expand a skill or area of interest? Give a class! Painting, writing, gardening, cooking, dancing, drawing, scuba-diving, or music lessons are all great options.

Helpful websites when looking for experiences to buy and give: Cloud9Living, GroupOn, Living Social, and Travel Zoo.

I think that when you give an experience, you are giving FUN. What could be better than that?

Happy Giving!

Just a Thought Before You Buy

 Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for what we have and the day after, Black Friday, is a day to go out and consume all the things we don’t. The focus shifts from appreciating all the gifts we already have in our lives to how we can get more stuff. I find this such an interesting contrast!


Before we all dive head first into the holiday shopping I would like us to try to remember one simple thing: There is no direct link between more things and more happiness. So instead of getting stressed out about giving or receiving the perfect gift lets us take a step back and remember that the things are not so important. Consider a few questions to gain some perspective. What do we want to give to the world? Who and what do we want to support? What is the best use of our time? What impact would we like to make on this planet?

What do we really want to fill our lives with? More shoes and a bigger house? Or more love, experiences, people, growth, and a healthier world?

Okay, now make your wish and shopping list!