Oh Rumi…you genius…Being aware of our barriers is the first step in breaking them down and letting them go. I fully believe that we create our own realities and I could not understand why certain areas of my life were not living up to the grand ideas I had and knew were possible. What have I been doing to stop myself?
A wonderful friend of mine was nice enough to call me a coward yesterday, although she used much kinder words. I got to watch a circle play in my life as my “aha” moment made me realize the barriers I have thrown up in various areas of my life. I have shut people out, pushed people away, failed to communicate fully, played games in a lame attempt to get someone to prove themselves, and engaged in other self-limiting acts. I have analyzed other’s actions instead of my own when things didn’t go the way I wanted. I have looked outside myself for approval instead of finding it inside myself. I have expected and feared the worst instead of choosing faith in the unknown. I have wanted others to love me enough first while I held back just a little….
ME? I do that? All that? But don’t I know better?
Even after all the books, YouTube self-help videos, studying eastern medicine, taoist philosophy, and watching Brene Brown’s TED talks on vulnerability, several times? Was I really not allowing myself to be fully vulnerable?
Why would I do that? Oh yes, my faulty protection mechanism. Fear has been holding me back. In every circumstance I was attempting to protect myself, it never worked, but I kept going with it. Aware of it today, I am ready for a change.
Giving yourself fully, whether it is to a person, a friendship worth saving, a passion, your dream job, or the universe itself, is the bravest thing you could ever possibly do. Trying to protect ourselves will never lead to anything amazing. Our only barriers to love and the life we want are inside ourselves. Today is a good day to look inside, see what is stopping you, and break it down.
I’ll go first. My first attempts at vulnerability and bravery. I am about to press Publish on this post and expose to the internet and the world that I am not perfect. . . You’re shocked, I’m sure 🙂 . . .