Advice I Give Myself

“Unless you are already dead — mentally, emotionally, and socially — you cannot anticipate your life 5 years into the future. It will not develop as you expect. So just stop it. Stop assuming you can plan far ahead, stop obsessing about what is happening right now because it will change anyway, and get over the control issue about your life’s direction. Fortunately, because this is true, you can take even more chances and not lose anything; you cannot lose what you never had. Besides, most feelings of loss are in your mind anyway – few matter in the long-term.” Thomas

I remember being a teenager thinking about my future and seeing it clearly defined. First A (college degrees), then B (career), then C (marriage, house, 1.5 kids). The future was bright, clear, and guaranteed. I was following the steps, getting good grades, and ensured 5 gold stars at the end of finish line.

Now, it seems the finish line is in fact a bar that is continually rising higher and higher above all of our heads. The steps have disappeared. We now realize that life is not guided by a certain set of rules that guarantees A,B,C or X,Y, Z.

So, we are all just winging it. Floaters and dreamers trying to make the best next step with the knowledge we have, a bunch of educated guesses. The advice available around relationships, health, career, and finances is varied, ever-changing, and conflicting. Our relationships, career, health, and finances fluctuate and we can’t predict with certainty how any of it will turn out. We make the decisions we think are best for us and many times they are shots in the dark.  Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t but being able to go with the flow and having faith that things will eventually turn out okay will get you through a lot. No one knows it ALL so get really good at a few things, think outside the box, take risks, and keep moving forward with an optimistic attitude.

Don’t let “I don’t know” stop you. Neither does anyone else. We are all just figuring it out. And when in doubt “fake it til you make it.”

“The number one goal should be to try to become a better person, partner, parent, friend, colleague etc. — in other words to grow as an individual.”