Love No Matter What

“I love myself no matter what, I love myself no matter what, I love myself no matter what.” It is a mantra I repeat over and over and over again in my head, especially when I don’t believe it. When I don’t want to love myself because I have done something wrong, or stupid, or worse. As I was making my self-love mist, amongst the lavender, rose petals, and vanilla, I began to think about it more, about what self-love really means, looks like, and feels like. Because I really need it now, we all really need it always. And then, because it is the technological age, I asked google for some help and it lead me to the quote I share with you today.Self-Love 2

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!” -Charles Chaplin

Thank you google, thank you Mr.Chaplin.

The Seeds You Plant in Your Mind

“A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.”  James Allen

The idea of the mind as a garden has always resonated with me. Just as we weed our gardens we must do the same for our minds. We must weed out the negative thoughts, prune away the things that are not serving us, and plant and nourish what we want to see bloom in our lives. 

Sunflowers in the Sky!

Sunflowers in the Sky!

“Think for a moment of a tomato plant. A healthy plant can have more than a hundred tomatoes on it. In order to get this tomato plant with all these tomatoes on it, we need to start with a small dried seed. That seed doesn’t look like a tomato plant. It sure doesn’t taste like a tomato plant. If you didn’t know for sure, you would not even believe it could be a tomato plant. However, let’s say you plant this seed in fertile soil, and you water it and let the sun shine on it.

When the first little tiny shoot comes up, you don’t stomp on it and say, “That’s not a tomato plant.” Rather, you look at it and say, “Oh boy! Here it comes,” and you watch it grow with delight. In time, if you continue to water it and give it lots of sunshine and pull away any weeds, you might have a tomato plant with more than a hundred luscious tomatoes.

It all begins with that one tiny seed.

It is the same with creating a new experience for yourself. The soil you plant in is your subconscious mind. The seed is the new affirmation. The whole new experience is in this tiny seed. You water it with affirmations. You let the sunshine of positive thoughts beam on it. You weed the garden by pulling out the negative thoughts that come up. And when you first see the tiniest little evidence, you don’t stomp on it and say, “That’s not enough!” Instead, you look at this first breakthrough and exclaim with glee, “Oh boy! Here it comes! It’s working!”

Then you watch it grow and see how your thoughts create your desire.” Louise Hay

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Mileage Gives Me Anxiety: A Little Perspective Please

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” 
-Abraham Lincoln

My family has leased a lot of cars. If you have ever leased a car you know you are given a certain mileage allotment and if you go over by the time you turn the car back in you have to pay a fine. It has also always been made very clear that increased miles on a car decreases its value.  Usually for road-trips we would rent a car for a week to keep the mileage down. Over and over again it was ingrained that too many miles meant a loss of value and money.

Here is another family’s story around mileage:

Every time the car gets to what may be a somewhat significant mileage there is a mini-celebration. There is discussion around all the miles covered, all the journeys experienced, how far the wonderful car has taken them. Family members remember certain places as significant because it was where the car hit this or that mileage. How amazing to have journeyed so many miles and to have a car last so long.

The Honda Civic, Zippy, on a trip from NY to LA

The Honda Civic, Zippy, on a trip from NY to LA

It is so interesting to look at our stories, especially when they go up against someone else’s. The story I know about mileage doesn’t  make much sense for me.  I am always in search of the next hike, mountain, adventure, town or anything new to explore. This leads to a lot of mileage. I have driven across country, twice. My weekends entail trips with car rides that are anywhere from a few to 10 hours away. I have driven roundtrip Florida to New York, New York to Chicago, New York to Tennessee, up and down the California coast and even up into Washington, and more. Despite the fact that I got the car I got because they are rumored to last well with high mileage and the fact that I do not lease the vehicle, I have reservations around putting too many miles on my car. The anxiety that accelerates as the mileage creeps up on my Honda Civic is a little ridiculous. Listening to another’s view around the same subject has again brought to light the stories we tell ourselves, perspective, and point of view. Mileage can either = accomplishment and gratitude or anxiety and emphasis on decreasing value.

Follow me on Instagram for photos from my adventures @dre_adventures

Time to enjoy every mile!

 My family’s story is just one perspective, so if I want to feel differently, I am going to have  to change my viewpoint.

Many things shape our beliefs: media, family, culture, teachers, and experiences. It is important to step back once in a while and wonder where our reactions and stories come from, and more importantly, if they are serving us, or if it is time to let them go for a different one.

Beauty, money, guilt, men, women, success, and love are topics worth looking into..

Enjoy every mile!

Follow on Instagram @dre_adventures if you want to check out my adventures

Why Can’t You Have IT?

“The only thing I have to release in order to get what I want is my story about why I can’t have it.”

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Pelicans find fish in the Gulf of Mexico in Sarasota, Florida.

 I have told people what I wanted and immediatly given them the reasons why I can’t have it.

“I want to __________(move, quit, do this thing, take this class, buy that, contact this person, try a new thing) but I can’t because…”

The excuses are endless: money, fears, skill level, your passion, the government, guilt, taxes, family, work…

It is frustrating for me to think back on how many times I have done this in my life. Excuses are fears and  self-doubt talking. Any excuse is self-limiting. Let them go, they aren’t serving you. There are a million reasons why certain things shouldn’t have been able to happen in my life and they happened anyway. Don’t let your story get in your way.

Nothing can change if we are too busy holding on to our stories of why we can’t. Watch the way you speak to friends and family over the next week, catch yourself when you cling to an “I can’t because story.” Try stating what you want, followed by “..and I am excited and open for the opportunities that will allow it.”

YOU WILL AND YOU CAN FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE YOUR IT HAPPEN

It is Okay to be Scared

“It’s okay to be scared,”

He said it to me while we were hiking on an off beaten over grown, wet steep trail with his new puppy. My foot had just slipped off a rock. His offhand, yet supportive comment seeped in and I felt released. It was okay to be scared, we were going to do it anyway, but it was okay to have feelings about it. There was something extremely powerful in the permission he was giving me. I am sure he does not even remember saying it.

There is a lot of shame around fear. There is so much to be afraid of….failure, not being enough, rejection, pubic speaking, heights, monsters…Whatever you are doing, wherever you are in life, it is okay to be scared, especially when you’re slipping. None of us can predict the way this or that may unfold or what furry thing really waits for us under the bed, so there really isn’t reason to be ashamed. We aren’t alone. When you give yourself permission, the fear begins to fade, and movement can begin.

The whole point isn’t not to be afraid. I don’t know how to tell someone to do that. It is okay if you can’t “just get over it.”  However, I encourage you to move through it.  Don’t let fear paralyze you or hold you back. Surround yourself with encouraging, supportive people. Seek out a coach, a trainer, or an instructor in an area you would like to move through. Whether your fear exists around your current job, your health, relationships, a skill you have always meant to learn, or another area in your life move your thoughts and actions around the subject in a positive direction. Stay with the forward momentum. Many times, the other side of scary isn’t so bad after all… most often the other side of scary holds growth, success, and accomplishment.

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. ”

― Anthony Robbins

Laugh Without a Punch-Line

Playing with Addison, my three-year old niece, I am reminded again at how easy it can be to have fun, laugh, and be in the moment. She ran to me from the slide, giggling hysterically. Everything was fascinating: the swings, the bouncy zebra, the merry-go-round… She ran around, eyes wide with awe, even though it wasn’t her first time to the park. Every single thing on the playground caused hysterical laughter and happiness, even without a punch-line. She didn’t criticize the playground for not being big enough or look for its faults. She loved it without expectations. Later, when she found out I could make new play-dough for her from flour she had the equivalent reaction to that of an adult winning the Mega-Millions Lottery. She is still my best teacher.

Numbers vary, but studies have approximated that children laugh about 400 times day compared to adults’ 5-12 times a day. What happens to us? Do we just become jaded?

 Is it life beating us up? Or is it ourselves? When we begin to have thoughts of not being enough, our accomplishments and the little pleasures in life are never enough either.

Just for today, try to see everything with younger eyes. Find excitement and humor in all that you can. I walked down the sidewalk and little pink petals floated all around me, it was like the spring was snowing flowers. Notice all the wonderful things going on around you, love it, and laugh…hysterically. Like a three-year old, look for only the good, the awe-inspiring, and the magic that surrounds us everyday.

You Are Meant to Have An Amazing Life

” You were not born to struggle. You were not born to live a life where the moments of joy are few and far between. You were not born to toil in your work five days a week, with fleeting moments of happiness on weekends. You were not born to live with limited energy, feeling exhausted at the end of each day. You were not born to worry or be afraid. You were not born to suffer. What would be the point of your life? You are meant to experience life to its fullest and have everything you want and, at the same time, be filled with joy, health, vitality, excitement, and love, because that is an amazing life.”  Rhonda Byrne

Many say “Life is suffering,”  The book The Power, by Rhonda Byrne, screams the opposite. It reminds us to stop and look around at all we have and all that is wonderful in life. It reminds us that challenges are just things that provide new growth. It reminds us that we get to choose every single day if we will be happy and grateful or frustrated and worried. I share the above quote as a reminder of what an amazing life does and does not look like to help us think bigger and better.

Dream big. Step away from limiting beliefs. Step away from those who tell you what you want isn’t possible. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Choose actions and thoughts that will point you in the direction of your strongest desires. Spring is a time for planning, plan for amazing and nothing less.

Breaking Down Your Own Barriers

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi

  Oh Rumi…you genius…Being aware of our barriers is the first step in breaking them down and letting them go. I fully believe that we create our own realities and I could not understand why certain areas of my life were not living up to the grand ideas I had  and knew were possible. What have I been doing to stop myself?

A wonderful friend of mine was nice enough to call me a coward yesterday, although she used much kinder words. I got to watch a circle play in my life as my “aha” moment made me realize the barriers I have thrown up in various areas of my life. I have shut people out, pushed people away, failed to communicate fully, played games in a lame attempt to get someone to prove themselves, and engaged in other self-limiting acts. I have analyzed other’s actions instead of my own when things didn’t go the way I wanted. I have looked outside myself for approval instead of finding it inside myself. I have expected and feared the worst instead of choosing faith in the unknown. I have wanted others to love me enough first while I held back just a little….

ME? I do that? All that? But don’t I know better?

Even after all the books, YouTube self-help videos, studying eastern medicine, taoist philosophy, and watching Brene Brown’s TED talks on vulnerability, several times? Was I really not allowing myself to be fully vulnerable?

NOPE…not really

Why would I do that? Oh yes, my faulty protection mechanism. Fear has been holding me back. In every circumstance I was attempting to protect myself, it never worked, but I kept going with it. Aware of it today, I am ready for a change.

Are you?

Giving yourself fully, whether it is to a person, a friendship worth saving, a passion, your dream job, or the universe itself, is the bravest thing you could ever possibly do. Trying to protect ourselves will never lead to anything amazing.  Our only barriers to love and the life we want are inside ourselves. Today is a good day to look inside, see what is stopping you, and break it down.

I’ll go first. My first attempts at vulnerability and bravery. I am about to press Publish on this post and expose to the internet and the world that I am not perfect. . . You’re shocked, I’m sure 🙂 . . .

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Renew Yourself Says Spring!

Spring is here! It may not feel like it where you are right now, but spring is here. It is a time for planting seeds, not only in the earth but for ourselves as well. Spring is an excellent time to begin again, to reestablish goals, and it is an excellent time to let go of all things that are not serving you. We deserve new growth as much as the greenery that will soon be displaying new shoots out of the ground. One of the best ways to ensure a healthier year is a spring detox. A spring detox is a great way to eliminate physical, as well as emotional toxins.

Time for planting!

Time for planting!

Toxins are everywhere. The air we breathe, the water we drink, the foods we eat, the cleaners, soaps, and shampoos we use. Your liver, kidneys, lymphatic, digestive and immune system become overloaded and overworked and struggle to keep up. The result of this accumulation of toxins in our body tissues is chronic and degenerative diseases, immune system disorders, neurological disorders, digestive disorders, hormonal imbalances, cardio-vascular diseases, cancers, obesity, and more.

One of the best things you can do for your health is to use the spring to detox. It is nature’s natural time of birth and renewal.

Simple things you can do include: Detox your mind of thoughts that do not serve you. Choose whole grains and plenty of vegetables as your food. Drink lots of warm water and herbal tea. Avoid negative situations, poor food choices, toxic chemicals, and begin each day with deep breathing.

If you would like more guidance, I have designed a day-by day, step by step 21 day detox to help you achieve wellness goals in a whole new way. Let me support you so you can reach your goals and achieve a new level of health. The detox will be sure to get YOU GLOWING!

Check it out at http://centeredhealthhealingarts.net/get-you-glowing-detox/

So You Had A Bad Day…

The day had started out well. I had even meditated in the morning.  But as the day crept on my mood began to decline. I came home frustrated and disappointed. Things were not going exactly as I imagined.  I thought about all the people who head to happy-hour straight from work because they are unhappy with one situation or another in their life. Usually I am floating around being the positive-thinking- action-hero, cape and everything. What was wrong with me?

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I wallowed in self-pity and anger for a moment but instead of reaching for a mind numbing substance, I picked up the phone.
A good friend helped turn my attitude and perspective when he told me “we are getting closer all the time.” Every experience is teaching us something.
Anytime we come across unwanted situations  it makes us clearer on the things we really want for ourselves and in our lives. When we are in an undesirable circumstance instead of letting it get us down we need to let it motivate us even further in the direction of the life we want.

Acceptance of an undesirable now is not as powerful as a vision for a desirable future.

My bad day ended with increased resolve for the things I want and a clearer picture of the steps I need to take to ensure my life is mine. Procrastination is common, so I think my bad day was just a shove for more productive action. A motivating factor to go out, do more of what I love, and pursue my dreams.